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Welcome to the Relationships Squared Blog
Here, we share evidence-based tools, Gottman Method insights, and practical guidance to help Melbourne couples navigate conflict and life transitions.
đź’ˇ A Note on Care: The articles and resources shared here are for educational and relationship wellness purposes only. Reading our blog or scheduling a discovery call does not establish a formal therapeutic relationship. If you are currently experiencing acute distress or a mental health crisis, please reach out to Lifeline (13 11 14), 13YARN (13 92 89), or emergency services on 000 immediately.
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The Relationship Crossroads Self-Audit: How to Read Your Body’s Signals and Find a Path Forward when Feeling Ambivalent
Weighing up whether to stay or leave a romantic relationship can feel entirely paralysing. When you are caught in mixed-agenda ambivalence, your mind can run endless loops, analysing the past and trying to predict the future. This cognitive overload consumes massive amounts of mental energy, often leaving you feeling torn, exhausted, and frozen in limbo. This state of profound emotional paralysis is particularly intense if your current uncertainty has been driven by a recent
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Oct 1911 min read
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Navigating Perimenopause Together: How to Keep Your Relationship Squared During a Normal Life Transition
When we talk about major relationship milestones, we often focus on the early days of dating, moving in together, or navigating early parenthood. But there is another significant, deeply transformative biological and psychological milestone that many couples face in silence: perimenopause. Many couples find themselves firmly in the "sandwich generation"—juggling demanding, full-time careers while simultaneously managing active parenting duties with children and step-parenting
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Oct 128 min read
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The Quiet House: Navigating the Empty Nest and Retirement Roommate Trap
Staring at a quiet house? Learn how to break free from the empty nest roommate trap using practical Gottman Method rituals of connection.
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Oct 64 min read
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Planning the Marriage, Not Just the Wedding: The Power of Proactive Relationship Prep
Planning a wedding in Melbourne? Discover why proactive pre-marital counselling isn't about fixing problems—it's about protecting your future.
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Oct 52 min read
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Defensiveness - Own your part
Tips for defusing defensiveness and owning your part in the argument
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
May 5, 20253 min read
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Couples' New Year's Resolutions: Prioritising "Us" this Year
Transform your partnership this New Year. Discover 4 actionable ways to stack healthy relationship habits, boost physical affection, and stay connected.
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Dec 22, 20236 min read
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Financial Stress in Relationships: How to Stop Money Disagreements and Fights
Stop having the same money disagreements and fights. Learn how to identify your childhood money scripts, calm your nervous system, and handle financial stress as a team.
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Jun 13, 20235 min read
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Small Positive Things Often
For great relationship health you need to invest in your relationship often. Grand gestures are good and fine, and certainly important on...
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Nov 15, 20221 min read
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"Are you listening to me?": Tips on helping your partner feel heard and understood
Listening is an underrated art. Get it right, and our partner feels heard and understood. Get it wrong, and we run our responses on (often old) assumptions that very often miss the mark, and lead to arguments. This happens because we are often forming our own counter-arguments when our partner is talking. Listening with an open heart (and ears!) while suspending our own agenda is an essential relationship skill to really hear what our partner is saying. It can be challenging
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Sep 6, 20223 min read
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Uncertainty & Weighing up whether to Stay or Go
Feeling caught in relational limbo? Discover psychological research, reflection strategies, and professional approaches to help you decide whether to stay or go.
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Jul 18, 20227 min read
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5 Choices in Facing a Problem/Difficult Situation
When faced with a problem or a difficult situation, it can feel that we have no choices or that our choices have been taken away from...
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Nov 10, 20211 min read
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Generosity is love in action
In 2014, researcher John Gottman listed kindness and generosity as the two most important elements in a lasting union. This is about 'turning towards' your partner - it's not about scorekeeping, expecting something in return, self-sacrifice or denying yourself. Often when we think of generosity we tie it to giving to charity or giving gifts to friends or family. But it is just as much about how we relate to others, ourselves and the world. It is about having a willingness to
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Oct 15, 20213 min read
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What function does anger serve in your relationship?
Anger is a feeling state that can range from mild irritation to intense rage. The emotion of anger often results from a sense of...
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Sep 12, 20213 min read
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Secrets of (post-baby) couples whose sex life is going well
The Gottman's have written an excellent book some years ago for couples who are about to have, or have had, their first baby - And Baby Makes Three. This is the official book of their Bringing Baby Home Program for which there are also additional resources such as a workbook and card decks available on their website and in the Gottman App, plus a transition to parenthood webinar. And Baby Makes Three includes a six-step plan for preserving relationship intimacy and rekindlin
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Sep 4, 20213 min read
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Respectful relationships DON'T include...
In talking to many couples, I note that everyone wants a respectful relationship. In fact, no one has said to me so far that they don't...
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Aug 28, 20211 min read
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Accepting your sexuality as it is right now
#sexuality #healthysexlife #relationshipssquared Disclaimer: This post is for informational and educational purposes only. It should not...
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Aug 26, 20211 min read
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Common sexual misconceptions - which of these do you buy into?
If sex does not happen easily or naturally, you might believe that something is wrong with you, or your partner, or your relationship. Sometimes sexual misconceptions get in the way and create unrealistic expectations. Author and sex therapist, Jessa Zimmerman explore some of these in her book: Sex without stress - a couple's guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance and pressure. (This is a great book - I highly recommend it for couples experiencing sexual issues). These
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Aug 21, 20214 min read
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Helping Your Partner Heal from Your Infidelity: Five Core Pillars of Trust Recovery
In our years of specialised work supporting couples through relational trauma, we have guided thousands of partners navigating the intense early stages of a discovery. If you are sitting in this position today, please know that your pain is valid, and you are not alone. đź“Ś Are you in the immediate aftermath of a discovery? If your relationship is dealing with the intense emotional shock of a recent betrayal, we recommend starting with our step-by-step stabilisation checklist
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Jun 27, 20217 min read
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Investing in your friendship with your partner
One of the secrets of happy couples is that they continue to invest time and energy in their relationship and friendship. It is one of...
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Feb 28, 20214 min read
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Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable?
Allowing ourselves to be fully seen in relationships takes courage. Vulnerability gives us opportunities to connect meaningfully with our...
Dr Karin du Plessis, PhD
Jan 17, 20211 min read
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