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Resources 

Listing does not signify endorsement or warrant accuracy of content listed.

Emergency: Call 000 

Gottman Resources
Infidelity & Affairs
Sexual  Issues

Video - Consent - it's as simple as tea (explicit)

Sex when you don't feel like it  - the truth about mismatched libido and rediscovering desire  - Cyndi Darnell (book)

Why does my partner need sex to feel connected while I need to feel connected to have sex (podcast episode)

How to talk about sex (blog article)

Come as you are - Emily Nagoski (book)

Keys to a happier sex life - Emily Nagoski (TED talk)

How couples can sustain a strong sexual connection - Emily Nagoski (TED talk)

The 3-Minute Game - Betty Martin (video)

  • How would you like me to touch you for 3 minutes

  • How would you like to touch me for 3 minutes

The 3-Minute Game booklet - Betty Martin (pdf)

Wheel of consent - Betty Martin (pdf)

Sex without stress - Jessa Zimmerman (book)

Consensual non-monogamy - some things to consider in opening up a relationship: https://whydoesmypartner.captivate.fm/episode/want-to-open-our-relationship (podcast episode)

Other Couples Resources

Brene Brown on Empathy (video)

Brene Brown on Blame (video)

Drama Triangle vs Winners Triangle (Elizabeth Day, Best Friend Therapy Podcast) (Winners Triangle - Acey Choy - Caring - I see... Vulnerable - I feel... Assertive - I need...)

Video - Wisdom of Geese - how does this apply to your relationship?

Eight steps to healing conversations - Dr Mark Karris (video)

Why does my partner refuse to apologise (podcast)

Neuroscience explainer for couples - Sara Schwarzbaum

Feelings that precede ineffective behaviours - Sara Schwarzbaum

What am I feeling, where in body, and gifts of emotions (chart)

Terry Real - 10 Commandments of Time Outs

5 Love Languages Quiz

What is trauma? (brief video - Bessel van der Kolk)

Trauma and the nervous system (video)

How to support someone with a mental health issue (Beyond Blue)

Addiction recovery support (free training - Dr Robert Navarra)

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ADHD Couples Resources

Adult ADHD screening test (not diagnostic, other factors need to be ruled out, diagnosis is much more comprehensive)

Two different brains in love: Conflict resolution in neurodiverse relationships (Gottman Blog)

Mindfulness for ADHD

Adult ADHD (podcast - Dr Ari Tuckman)

ADHD after dark - how to improve your sex life (video featuring Dr Ari Tuckman)

Understand your Brain, Get More Done - ADHD Executive Functions (workbook by Dr Ari Tuckman)

Adult ADHD and Sex: what you need to know (kindle book - Gina Pera)

ADHD Roller Coaster (Gina Pera's blog)

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Vulnerability & Shame
Other self-help resources
Guided Meditations - ACT
Accepting Feelings
00:00 / 12:14
Contacting the Present Moment
00:00 / 12:21
Observing Self
00:00 / 14:33
Letting Thoughts Come and Go (Leaves on a Stream)
00:00 / 07:45
Noticing and Naming (Thoughts and Feelings)
00:00 / 09:49
Support Services & Helplines
Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Chronic Pain

Constructive Worrying Worksheet - this can help if you mind is keeping you awake at night

Mindspot - FREE online assessment and treatment for anxiety, depression, stress, PTSD, chronic pain for adults

(1800 61 44 34)

myCompass - FREE personalised self-help tool for mental health (mild to moderate) anxiety and depression; 7 weeks; self-assessment included

Head to Health - find digital mental health resources from trusted providers

This Way Up - therapy on demand - low-cost online evidence-based programs to help you improve the way you feel. Strategies to manage stress, anxiety and low mood

Attachment and Conflict

​Explainer: What is 'attachment' and how does it affect our relationships?

Stan Tatkin's description of Anchor, Island or Wave

Attachment Style Quiz or this

Attachment Style Questionnaire

Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the Science of Adult Attachment can Help You Find – and Keep – Love (Book, Levine & Heller)

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  • Du Plessis, K., & Clarke, D. (2008). Couples’ helpful, unhelpful and ideal conflict resolution strategies: Secure and insecure attachment differences and similarities. Interpersona, 2(1), 65-88, https://dx.doi.org/10.5964/ijpr.v2i1.18

  • Du Plessis, K., Clarke, D., & Woolley, C.C. (2007). Secure attachment conceptualizations: The influence of general and specific relational models on conflict beliefs and conflict resolution styles. Interpersona, 1(1), 25-44, https://doi.org/10.5964/ijpr.v1i1.3

 

ACT Resources

What is ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy)

ACT of Love - Russ Harris (book)

Leaves on a stream exercise A or B - getting unstuck from thoughts

The Sushi Train metaphor video - getting unstuck from thoughts

Monsters on a Boat metaphor video - let's imagine taking our difficult emotions with us

The 'Struggle Switch' metaphor video - how not to amplify emotions

Choice Point video - moving towards a meaningful life

Values-focused vs. Goals-focused life video

Grounding - dropping the anchor meditation video

ACT iCoach app on Google Play (Android) or App Store (Apple) (includes many free meditations)

Things might go terribly, horribly wrong - Kelly G. Wilson & Troy Dufrene (book)

Mindfulness Resources
Moving Away, Moving Toward
00:00 / 08:27
Transforming Pain into Purpose
00:00 / 08:05
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