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Resources 

Listing does not signify endorsement or warrant accuracy of content listed.

Emergency: Call 000 

Gottman Resources
Infidelity & Affairs
Sexual  Issues

Video - Consent - it's as simple as tea (explicit)

Sex when you don't feel like it  - the truth about mismatched libido and rediscovering desire  - Cyndi Darnell (book)

Why does my partner need sex to feel connected while I need to feel connected to have sex (podcast episode)

How to talk about sex (blog article)

Come as you are - Emily Nagoski (book)

Keys to a happier sex life - Emily Nagoski (TED talk)

How couples can sustain a strong sexual connection - Emily Nagoski (TED talk)

The 3-Minute Game - Betty Martin (video)

  • How would you like me to touch you for 3 minutes

  • How would you like to touch me for 3 minutes

The 3-Minute Game booklet - Betty Martin (pdf)

Wheel of consent - Betty Martin (pdf)

Sex without stress - Jessa Zimmerman (book)

Consensual non-monogamy - some things to consider in opening up a relationship: https://whydoesmypartner.captivate.fm/episode/want-to-open-our-relationship (podcast episode)

Other Couples Resources

Brene Brown on Empathy (video)

Brene Brown on Blame (video)

Emotional awareness

What am I feeling, where in body, and gifts of emotions (chart)

Feelings that precede ineffective behaviours - Sara Schwarzbaum

Drama Triangle vs Winners Triangle (Elizabeth Day, Best Friend Therapy Podcast) (Winners Triangle - Acey Choy - Caring - I see... Vulnerable - I feel... Assertive - I need...)

Video - Wisdom of Geese - how does this apply to your relationship?

Eight steps to healing conversations - Dr Mark Karris (video)

Why does my partner refuse to apologise (podcast)

Neuroscience explainer for couples - Sara Schwarzbaum

Terry Real - 10 Commandments of Time Outs

5 Love Languages Quiz

What is trauma? (brief video - Bessel van der Kolk)

Trauma and the nervous system (video)

How to support someone with a mental health issue (Beyond Blue)

Addiction recovery support (free training - Dr Robert Navarra)

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ADHD Couples Resources

Adult ADHD screening test (not diagnostic, other factors need to be ruled out, diagnosis is much more comprehensive)

Two different brains in love: Conflict resolution in neurodiverse relationships (Gottman Blog)

Mindfulness for ADHD

Adult ADHD (podcast - Dr Ari Tuckman)

ADHD after dark - how to improve your sex life (video featuring Dr Ari Tuckman)

Understand your Brain, Get More Done - ADHD Executive Functions (workbook by Dr Ari Tuckman)

Adult ADHD and Sex: what you need to know (kindle book - Gina Pera)

ADHD Roller Coaster (Gina Pera's blog)

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Vulnerability & Shame
Other self-help resources
Guided Meditations - ACT
Moving Away, Moving Toward
00:00 / 08:27
Transforming Pain into Purpose
00:00 / 08:05
Accepting Feelings
00:00 / 12:14
Contacting the Present Moment
00:00 / 12:21
Support Services & Helplines
Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Chronic Pain

Constructive Worrying Worksheet - this can help if you mind is keeping you awake at night

Mindspot - FREE online assessment and treatment for anxiety, depression, stress, PTSD, chronic pain for adults

(1800 61 44 34)

myCompass - FREE personalised self-help tool for mental health (mild to moderate) anxiety and depression; 7 weeks; self-assessment included

Head to Health - find digital mental health resources from trusted providers

This Way Up - therapy on demand - low-cost online evidence-based programs to help you improve the way you feel. Strategies to manage stress, anxiety and low mood

Our vagus nerves help us rest, digest and restore (article)

Attachment and Conflict

​Explainer: What is 'attachment' and how does it affect our relationships?

Stan Tatkin's description of Anchor, Island or Wave

Attachment Style Quiz or this

Attachment Style Questionnaire

Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the Science of Adult Attachment can Help You Find – and Keep – Love (Book, Levine & Heller)

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  • Du Plessis, K., & Clarke, D. (2008). Couples’ helpful, unhelpful and ideal conflict resolution strategies: Secure and insecure attachment differences and similarities. Interpersona, 2(1), 65-88, https://dx.doi.org/10.5964/ijpr.v2i1.18

  • Du Plessis, K., Clarke, D., & Woolley, C.C. (2007). Secure attachment conceptualizations: The influence of general and specific relational models on conflict beliefs and conflict resolution styles. Interpersona, 1(1), 25-44, https://doi.org/10.5964/ijpr.v1i1.3

 

ACT Resources

What is ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy)

ACT of Love - Russ Harris (book)

Leaves on a stream exercise A or B - getting unstuck from thoughts

The Sushi Train metaphor video - getting unstuck from thoughts

Monsters on a Boat metaphor video - let's imagine taking our difficult emotions with us

The 'Struggle Switch' metaphor video - how not to amplify emotions

Choice Point video - moving towards a meaningful life

Values-focused vs. Goals-focused life video

Grounding - dropping the anchor meditation video

ACT iCoach app on Google Play (Android) or App Store (Apple) (includes many free meditations)

Things might go terribly, horribly wrong - Kelly G. Wilson & Troy Dufrene (book)

Mindfulness Resources
Observing Self
00:00 / 14:33
Letting Thoughts Come and Go (Leaves on a Stream)
00:00 / 07:45
Noticing and Naming (Thoughts and Feelings)
00:00 / 09:49
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